This is entirely some off-the-record musings, a bit of weekend TL;DR.

No need to read any of this if you’re just looking for eyesight health guides. Go outside instead. Listen to an audiobook. Get yourself a nice projector and watch foreign movies with English subtitles, at a challenging blur distance.

No? Still here?

Ok so here is a bit of some thoughts about the site and myopia rehab, and my peculiar involvement.

Things are eventually, maybe going to get a bit weird(er) around here.

I’ve been trying to hold back. Homage to Alex and all that. But Alex keeps saying, “make it your own”. Alex knows I’m a strange character. We must trust in his Germanic wisdoms.

So I called up Alex the other day.

– I changed a bunch of stuff on your fancy site.

– Ya?

– Ya, Alex. I closed the public course sign-up. I replaced it with an endless barrage of e-mails, and only those who put up with all of that would eventually see a little sign-up link. Which then locks out after three days.

– Hm. Ya.

– And then I added a zero to your previous course price tag.

– *silence* … *a chuckle* Ya. Good. Can’t lose money forever.

– Right. And I’m adding videos and a bit more of my particular ways for better eyesight to the whole program. Call it a revamp, quite a few of the psychological aspects, and adding lots more detail, and audio for those who prefer to listen rather than read. It’s going to go level kick-ass.

– Yaa. Very nice, Jake. I hoped you wold do all zat.

– And guess what. Now the new program is hopelessly overbooked. I added even more e-mails and shortened the sign-up window but it’s still totally packed.

– Ok. Vow. Even at the high price?

– Yup. It’s still flat out cheap, for what you get. And I just can’t sell my work for a hundred bucks. Can’t do. But that’s not where I’m going with this. You know what I want to do?

– Yaa?

– I want to get some fake hair, and a fake beard, and an orange robe, and some beads.

– Ya. .. aaah. Well. May I ask why?

– Oh, I almost forgot. I’ve got a brilliant fake Indian accent.

– Hm. Yaa. Explain a bit more, I’m afraid I don’t follow, Jake.

– Well .. here is the thing. Myopia rehab is a tiny niche. There’s plenty of behavioral optometrists people can go see, for those who want an establishment approved “doctor” type. And for those who want to experiment and whatnot, there are Internet forums, and books they can go buy on Amazon.

So the real question is, what’s the place of this site?

You know what made me successful at rehab is that I’m just myself. I mess with people a bit. My clients are people who appreciate my strange sense of humor. It’s even maybe possible that the specific flavor gets people more engaged, than some generic dude-in-a-labcoat. Plus … I get bored. All the straight-laced, trying-to-sell-things, trying be some Dr. Phil, I don’t think I can do it long term. I’ll have to go weird on my audience, sooner or later.

I want to put on a whole fake guru getup and totally straight faced do a bunch of serious rehab talk. Whoever gets it gets it, and whoever doesn’t, whatever-them.

… and into it we get, a whole conversation about optometry and approaches and presentation. Alex, way more serious that I should mess with my darling readers, than I actually was …

Honestly, I think I was just trying to freak Alex out.

Even though yes, I did Google where to find fake beards. You have to admit, it would be equal parts shocking and awesome:

Now *that’s* an eye guru.

Yes, it would turn some people off.

But you know what? Tell me how that matters. If we look at it in terms of money or sign-ups, we can’t handle much more anyway. I’ve got zero fear or concerns about trying to keep people confident about giving their money to a guy with a fake beard and a fake Indian accent.

If anything, I’d be rather proud, impressed, and want to meet anyone who totally gets that and *still* and maybe even because of that, would want to partake in my program.

Awesome-type people.

And I can focus on bringing you things like (video) Interviews with reputable behavioral optometrists, who you can go see. Keeping my creative energy off the leash to stay motivated, and give you options other than me. I want you to go see somebody else, ask somebody else. I’d do just as well with a quarter of the current e-mail volume.

Not meaning that, really. Love all your e-mails.

My girlfriend says that I act like a teenager, a lot of the time. (I pretend that I assume she’s trying to flatter me) But I’m in fact 40 (just turned 40 the other day, yikes), and German. I used to be in finance. And I got into this by doing thousands of hours of research. I should in theory be as dusty and dry as your least personable math professor back in college.

But what fun is life, if you don’t poke a little fun at it all, at least once in a while?

Especially when it comes to something as seemingly absurd as improving your eyesight, on the freaking INTERNET. Come on. You’re nuts for even trying.

He said, going-south-ingly…

Anyway, cheers.

– Jake

Also … know that I’m at least 37% joking. I’ll do my very best not to go out and actually acquire said fake beard. No promises, though.

Second also … all joking aside, this is a 7-day-a-week affair. And even Vimeo agrees that the new video stream is definitely beyond 100% awesome: