File this under the category of “impossible”, if you’re an old-timey lens prescribing type of optometrist.  Perhaps we should rebrand the site as some kind of school of wizardry sometime soon, considering the years and years and hundreds of students reporting these kinds of “impossible” results, and considering how all of this can’t even be done.

Old-timey optometry, vs. Jake’s school of endmyopia wizards.  Round 5917, posted today in the forum by Val:

Hi Everyone, 

I just got back from the optometrist, and my eyes are still dilated, but here’s some good news.

My prescription for distance vision, corrected to 20/15, no longer has any astigmatism, and the difference in the eyes is down to only -0.25 diopters. I knew that from my cm reading, but my snellen suggested my normalized of -8.00L -7.75R was pretty damn equal in each eye. It turns out that my Zenni normalized was actually more like a -8.25L -7.75R, according to her measurements. Oh well. The close up differential was measured to be exactly right at -5.75 in each eye. 

She then had me try to read 20/20 and 20/15 in my normalized, and apparently I got enough right at the 20/20 line to pass. In my old driving pair, I could easily see 20/15. 

after doing 1 and 2 or 3 or 4 about 10 times, she said I don’t have any astigmatism, and every time she put it in, I rejected it and preferred the straight spherical. Woot! Her final prescription, that she would give any one else is:
-8.50L -8.25R

This compares to my normalized -8.25L -7.75R (as she measured on her machine). Not bad. Maybe it’s time to weaken my normalized 0.25…

She also prescribed me a computer pair, just 0.75 weaker in each eye: -7.75L -7.50R. I’m obviously not gonna use that one as my differential, but probably halfway between that and my existing pair

I’m excited that I’m officially back to where I was in 2009 or 2010. I kinda cheated by fasting, and pull focusing a lot before stepping into the office, but it’s all good.

*tips wizard hat*

And apologies, if this whole astigmatism reduction type of post sounds like a broken record, with all the times students talk about having done it (like here and here and here).

If you’re a wizard school student yourself, you’ve already made it past my insane refund guarantee  for BackTo20/20.  If you haven’t seen it, it’s basically just universal absolution.  It’s not even just about the program.  Don’t like my face?  Got an ant bite?  Want to play Oceans 11, abscond with all the monies?  All covered.

Incidentally we just tallied refunds for last year the other day.  There were … two.   Barely scratching single digit percentage.

I wonder how many refunds are offered by old-timey optometrists, if their “treatment” causes your eyes to not get better, but instead worse?  If you go in and buy their -1.50 prescription, and next year it’s no longer enough?  Any refund for counterproductive myopia treatment?

No.  All you’ll get is having your genetics blamed.  Or your lack of going outside.  Or other excuses, that are so thin that it’s really either patronizing or insulting.  And also, they’ll want more money.  Some of those guys like to refer to endmyopia as a money grab.  What a cute little riot, those guys, all full of logic and reason and pointing old timey fingers

But anyway.  Val kicked her astigmatism’s a##, just as I keep promising.  In many, many cases astigmatism may be lens induced.  In many cases it wasn’t necessary to include in a lens prescription in the first place.  It does make for more expensive lenses, a bigger sale, and more profit, though.

Whatever.  Clearly Jakey’s not in the right frame of mind today to be all politically correct.  Go work on lowering your astigmatism, your brain and eyes will thank you for it!