Kim Jong Un’s personal eye guru.  Too soon?

One more maniac who wants to nuke the planet, while his people starve and he lives on caviar and French champagne.  And while China twiddles it’s thumbs and keeps North Korea going and we ultimately fund the whole thing by buying our dearest precious iPhones which of course are made in China.

Human irony knows no bounds.  We’s all connected, Holmes.

Here’s the point, though:

There is quite obviously no such thing as an eye guru.  Society indoctrinates blind trust in institutional authority, even though most authority is in it to make money (or realize a harem of cute girl things, ie. every Yoga guru ever and undoubtedly Jake’s next venture).

There is no eye guru, but there are a whole lot of real, and especially fake doctors.

“Dr.” Axe is one of the most humorously atrocious examples.  You may have run across the name if you Google’d any sort of natural anything remedy.  Dr. The-Plague-Of-Internet-Marketing.  This guy peddles eye vitamins and various other products (that you can just buy on iHerb anyway), making it seem like he’s a medical doctor, while very clearly he isn’t (yes, not the most unbiased source, but funny and to the point).  Now of course that’s not to say that a medical doctor is by default the right choice, but insinuating to have gone to medical school to sell you a bunch of vitamin pills?  Dodgy as it gets.

Brilliant business, though.

And that guy has a super solid PR team and gets on every other highly dodgy “doctor” platform.  These guys truly are the real bottom feeders of humanity.  (Dr. Phil, anyone?)

So that’s your myopia playing field.  Fake online doctors on one hand (and Bates, but let’s not even).  And optic shops on the other hand telling you that you’re genetically a throwaway while selling you a bunch of myopia inducing lenses.   It’s amusingly disgusting no matter which way you turn for help.

Where does that leave things … for us?

Perhaps there’s no point in trying to play the credibility game at all.  Think about it.  Sure we could stop the eye guru theme.  Instead get a few fancy industry titles (Axey-fake demonstrates the low barrier of entry).  Stop being altogether obviously ridiculous and put on a white lab coat and make a serious face and get some professional studio pictures in Jake’s fancy office with a big oak desk and many shiny doctor degrees (don’t look too close though, cough acupuncture cough homeopathy) and of course a giant eyeball medical prop thing.  Meet Dr. Dr. Jacobus Steinerheim III, F.M.D (fake medical doctor ftw).  

And his VIP line of fully professional eye vitamin products.  Personally vetted and individually formulated and guaranteed to maybe.  *Also suitable for pets.  


How many more dirtbags does humanity really need?

I say let’s continue to mock the whole entire charade of institutionalized trust.   We now have the tools to find research and science and trying things and disproving ideas (or confirming them, however the experiment turns out).  Google Scholar over some pill vendor, or lens seller.

Also obviously trust the last of the living eye gurus.  Five bottles of freeze dried balding eagle tears, $9.99.   *while supplies last.