Time to add another report to the child myopia reduction column, darlings.

As usual and not to beat the dead horse too much, screens are the complete enemy of child eyeballs. What you really need for your child is to go no phones, no iPads, no close-up screens. If need be, computer screens at reasonable distance, and avoiding having screens become your child’s de-facto parent / babysitter.

The cause of child myopia is not introducing your child to the wonders of playing with real, three dimensional toys, and getting outside, and finding play buddies and engaging in a natural space.

Screens, darlings. Screens are the f*cking devil.

Here’s Mildred’s progress update:

It’s pretty simple, really.

Please don’t make your favorite old eye guru sound like a crazy person.

Everybody is becoming a screen zombie, glued to screens for every last second of recreation. Nobody is telling you to stop since everybody who has a voice is also making money selling you stuff. Selling you stuff is only possible while you’re staring at that screen, like a hypnotized little sheep. All those Instagram posts and Youtube videos and Facebook status updates and links and tweets and mentions are keeping your brain in permanent hypnosis, with ad farms trying to figure out what kind of consumer you are.

Hey, figuring this out is your problem, not the old beard’s.

But when it comes to kids, they need somebody to show them the way. We have to unglue ourselves from the stupid insanity that is screen-life and find better things to do with our time, and be parents, and rediscover being at least sort of alive.

At least to give our kids a chance, yaaaa?

(until we all get plugged into virtual reality 3D anyway and we all become mindless slaves to Google and Amazon and Netflix and WeChat)