Darling fellow endmyopia kittehz.
Welcome back to another post, and another round of all the 20/20 gains. Of which as you probably know by now, there are many.
But let’s start this one out with something that bugs your favorite holy sage eyeguru, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Every so often I get an e-mail like this one:
Now, that’s a well-intentioned message.
The problem with it is, that you may well figure that for every one person who actually bothers to ask, there are hundreds more who think the same way. And I don’t know the answer to this one. I don’t know, how do you create the sort of credibility, that Andrew is asking for?
Besides of course, being an entirely legitimate, globally recognized, holy guruface. And eight gazillion Google Scholar references to both causes of myopia, and the eye’s ability to correct its focal plane.
But it’s these blog posts right here, the ones with the improvement reports, that have a wise one scratching his holy beard.
Am I wasting my time, posting these?
All the saving and highlighting and blurring things out and writing? A lot of times I do feel like there’s zero impact to what should be a bit mind blowing, if you think about it for a moment. All these people reducing their diopter dependence. Getting back to 20/20. Adults, parents with children, people from all walks of life. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of improvement reports.
What I get from e-mails like above though, is … maybe that doesn’t matter to people.
So all that contemplated, let’s waste some time then.
Sipos: -3.00 Down To -1.50
Yawn, I know. Just down to where he doesn’t need glasses for close-up. Big deal.
Armand: 20/50 To 20/20
55 people care.
So Armand can’t believe it. Can you? Can you believe …. ah nevermind. Computer nerds, whatevs.
Holly: Astigmatism GONE
Holly is excited:
12 people. Seems about right.
Is Jakey being childish now? Or does it just not matter for real that astigmatism, that mysterious genetic condition, just evaporates into thin air?
Reannon: -4.75 Down To -3.25
Here we go, another one ….
So basically to summarize, Reannon had myopia before, and still has myopia now. It’s just a lower number but that falls somewhere in the spectrum of whatever. Can we contain our excitement, like at all?
Barely. But we’ll manage.
Sydney: -10 Down To -6
That sounds great, except …
Left eye, dead? Like a … pirate?
I’m starting to see why people don’t care about these gains reports. Yawning even while writing this update for you.
Akash: Posts Optometrist Exam
Photos of ‘scripts’. Overrated?
136 people. It’s like …. a tiny, tiny crowd.
It’s the same story all over again. Myopia before, still myopia now. Except he had to buy probably, how many glasses to get to the current reduction? Basically this is some kind of expensive obscure hobby-obsession, going on about some diopter number.
How much more interesting is your Instagram feed, if we’re going to be honest?
About four billion times.
Louise: Son At 20/20
Ok maybe this one is worth it?
So he doesn’t even have myopia?
I’m out of snippy, disinterested, jaded comment ideas here. This is kind of cool.
Elena: Discovered Active Focus
How about this one:
So sure, active focus is the key ingredient to improving eyesight.
Fun fact: The other day some optometrist messaged me on Facebook, calling active focus “whatever” and telling me that the real solution is to paralyze people’s ciliary muscle with eye drops before checking their vision.
CAUSE THAT’LL FIX IT.
I might seriously be out of f*cks to give. Humanity is simply asking to crash and burn. But please. High speed Internet, cause Instagram feed.
Candice: Reformed Skeptic
Finally, here’s one. A skeptic. Lay it on us!
You disappoint me, Candice.
Yea sure, ophthalmologist. Whatever. A half diopter and 0.75 diopter reduction, that’s like before I was obese, and now I’m slightly less obese. Maybe I can get my mom to care. Can we bake me a cake, get me a medal?
Ok that’s probably enough updates. I think I made the point we’ve all been thinking about. Vision improvement is pointless, Jake’s stupid face is pointless, and all this really is, is fighting the inevitable. Because soon we’ll be able to directly plug into the Internet (thanks Elon Musk), no glasses, no eyes, just us straight consciousness fused with Instagram.
Butts, abs, Lambos, all. day. long. The future is nigh, and myopia is going to be all teh irrelevantz.
Also, video rant:
Note: Jakey sometimes likes deadpan sarcasm.