Apple Rejected Our App!

Thankfully Apple and the rules protect you from going wild, measuring distances all by your own self.

Jake Steiner

Sep 13,2020 · 2 min read

Well, kittehz.  

I built you a whole fancy iPhone self measuring myopia app, with measuring and logging and graphing progress, and all teh thingz, built right in.  

But Apple said you can’t be trusted with that much power.

Let me just repost some of my comments in our forum thread:

They insist that self measuring a distance is a type of … “medical diagnostic”. :laughing:
Which in itself is hilarious and rather quite telling of where we are at, society wise and babysitting law wise. No, you as your own grown-ass adult can not self measure a distance. Only a DOCTOR can do that. You, can’t be trusted with that sort of complexity.

Which ironically is exactly what optometrists do, and ALL that optometrists do. So in a way, Apple is right. You can’t be trusted with a measuring tape, or digital equivalent.

All that ranted, how do we get into the app store? My thoughts:

  1. A beard-measuring app. Wink, nudge. Dress it all up as a sarcastic beard measuring app. (then of course still get rejected because f*ck)

  2. A face-distance measuring app. Way less fun or funny, but maybe a little obscure.

Who knows.

We have to get an app on there that allows you to measure a distance to your eyes. That’s the whole point.

And before anyone gets started with Android comments. Yes yes I know Android exists and we could just give up and make the thing for Android. Not the answer I’m looking for here.

Also, any artists that would be up for contributing any beard measuring visuals? Otherwise community contributions to make this thing get past the little half witted contractor censors employed by papa Apple?

See below, current app which provides “medical diagnostics”. :wink:

Maybe they just rejected that face?

Or because we’re too nerdy?

Back to the drawing board.

And if you missed it, ole Jakey pulls out his rant-soapbox for this one:

For lots more conversation on this, next steps, updates, check the forum thread.

WRITTEN BY

Jake Steiner

Reformed stock trader. Kite surfer, pilot, vagabond. Father. And of course - the last of the living, imaginarily bearded eye gurus.

Topic:  News

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