So you just went to the optometrist for the first time.

And what?!  They told you that you need glasses.  

And you hopped online.  And fired up the old Googles.  And searched for wtf that all is about.  And stumbled upon this holy grail of all teh sagely wisdoms.  

Good on you.

Now as punishment, you’ll have to watch in video format what all that talk of you about to be some four eyed nerdface, is really about:

Talk about a nerdface…

That’s right.  You walked into a retail store, and you got a sales pitch.  Big shocker, there.

The super cool part is that they go full hard core, pulling no punches, going straight for the jugular on how you’re just a big pile of genetic f*ckupery and it’s all your own fault for having eyes like a mole rat and also whip out that credit card, boah, and give us all teh monies.

And they really go deep on sales tactics (“how to fit frames and influence people” .. what in the literal f*ck) to push some glasses on you.

Yup yup yup.  It is indeed a ruse.

If you’re going to read this blog, you better be caught up on Archer references.

Not making retail friends with all this talk.

Only problem now is that you’re going to have to be smart enough to figure things out.  I get a million Youtube comments that make me question whether humanity is ready for anything more than hurrr durrrr da steps, gimme da steeeepz.

Literally on the video explaining this very question.  Why not just shoot me?

This is why I buy lens stock.

All rants aside, this holiest of eye destinations has a whole section of pure gold on just low myopia.

In the modern world the predators aren’t tigers and lions.  It’s shiny retail stores and people with big titles and fancy degrees, telling you that you, lowly “consumer”, need their trinkets.  You are so, so helpless without their trinkets and curved pieces of clear plastic.

If you’re smart enough to research your way out of the rent-your-eyesight schemes of retail optometry, then good on you. 

Go make some 20/20 gains.

Cheers,

-Jake